$9.00 An Hour

January 18, 2011 Leave a comment


$9.00 An Hour

Nine dollars an hour
Is not that great a rate.
You barely make your monthly rent
You can’t afford to date.

At nine dollars an hour
You hope your car don’t break.
If it does, you’re walking.
Or the bus you’ll have to take.

At nine dollars an hour
Being sick you can’t afford.
You have to get a doctor’s excuse
The boss won’t take your word.

And you can’t afford the doctor
Or even the emergency room.
So even with a fever,
You just keep “pushing broom.”

Your canned good are generic.
Your “Brand Name” watch is phony.
Steak? You’d best forget about it
Learn to love baloney.

And if you have a girlfriend,
The only way to have fun.
Is to live together and hope
Two can live cheaper than one.

But if your girlfriend has a job
And you can split the rent.
Then you save a little money
And not spend every cent.

So maybe nine dollars an hour
Has a benefit or two
If an underpaid pretty girl
Needs to move in with you.

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Buffalo Hot Wings For Christmas

December 25, 2010 Leave a comment


Buffalo Hot Wings For Christmas

One should always be thankful
In Life for the “little things”
Me, I am thankful for Christmas Dinner
I get to have buffalo wings.

I work at a convenience store
Where we fry them up and do fine.
We sell them at four ninety nine for five
Or three at three forty nine.

So the Manager said, “Fry 2 dozen.”
I guess he expected a run.
But the 2 dozen hot wings just sat there.
And nobody bought even one.

So, after four hours he told me.
To take them when I left at ten.
So I put them into the cooler.
Until I could heat them again.

Some people have big hams for Christmas
Or turkeys, or other nice things.
But me? I am happy to sit here
Chomping on buffalo wings.

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Text Messaging

November 18, 2010 Leave a comment


Text Messaging

Text Messaging keeps you in touch
With your friends and your “Little Honey.”
The only thing is, it costs so much
It eats up all your money.

So if you are going to “text”
Learn from me if you can
This is what you should do next
Get yourself on a monthly plan!

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Global Warming

October 18, 2010 Leave a comment

Global Warming

There is no snow in my window.
There is no snow on the ground.
There is no snow on my roof.
There is no snow around.

Soon there will be no Polar Bears.
They will turn to Brown.
Because of Global Warming
There is no snow around.

Soon there will be no icecap.
No Harp Seals will be found.
There won’t be any Narwhals either.
There is no snow around.

Soon the oceans will rise.
And New York City will drown.
And a lot of other cities, too.
There is no snow around.

Soon there will be no North Pole
Or the reindeer that abound.
The Elves will all be jobless.
There is no snow around.

All the farms will be flooded.
Earth will be a battleground.
Most people will starve to death.
There is no snow around.

This is all because of carbon.
We should tax it by the pound.
Before all this bad stuff happens.
And there is no snow around.

I finally got my cable television and internet connection turned back on AGAIN. You never know how much you miss something until it is gone. I had to pay several months of back bills, NSF check fees, and put up a deposit. This is a new poem I just wrote after I saw a special on one of the channels about Global Warming and all the bad things that will happen.

Geronimo the Indian

March 25, 2010 3 comments

Geronimo the Indian

Geronimo was an Indian
Who lived on the reservation
Until he got mad at the “White Man.”
So he left and started his own nation.

Actually, before this happened
On March 6, 1858.
Four hundred Mexican soldiers
His family and home did lacerate.

So Geronimo and some other Indians
Went after the Mexican troops.
And when they found them
They killed them with a lot war whoops.

This is how Goyaklah got his name
After they killed his wife.
The Mexicans prayed to “Jeronimo”
As he was scalping them with his knife.

“Jeronimo” was how the Mexicans
Prayed to St. Jerome.
To which the Mexicans wouldn’t have had to pray
If they hadn’t tore up Geronimo’s home.

Some of the other Apaches
Thought Geronimo was magic.
And that bullets wouldn’t hurt him,
But he still got shot which was tragic.

Geronimo fought Mexicans and Americans
Between 1858 and 1886.
They had a hard time catching him
He had so many tricks.

So Gen. Nelson A. Miles thought
Captain Lawton would do just fine.
And Captain Lawton finally caught him
In late summer on September 9.

Geronimo may have surrendered
Or then again, maybe not.
It has been so long now
Everybody has forgot.

Geronimo got famous
He went to the 1904 World’s Fair.
He even rode a Ferris Wheel
But he couldn’t stay on his mare.

It was in February 1909
When he fell off of his horse.
They thought he might get better.
But he didn’t. He got worse.

Some people think he got buried
In a cemetery at Ft. Sill.
Other people think some guys from Yale
Snuck in and his bones did steal.

In 1940 some Army paratrooper
Watched the movie “Geronimo”
When he jumped off a cliff
And hollered his name, so it became their motto.

Geronimo the Indian
Had a long and colorful life.
Which probably would not have happened
If the Mexicans hadn’t killed his wife.

This is my first attempt to do Epic Poetry. Epic Poems are long ones about epic people and things. I don’t think anybody has ever dedicated an Epic Poem to Geronimo the Indian before which is strange because Indians were the first Native Americans.  This poem would not have been possible without wikipedia which has a whole story about Geronimo. This kept me from having to go to the library to get all these facts. Poets back then had to work a lot harder than Modern Poets.

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Be Careful With Your Cable

March 24, 2010 2 comments

Be Careful With Your Cable

Some girlfriends just don’t understand
How to treat a poetry writing man.
Some let me give some tips to you
Poetry writing men just what to do.

Girlfriends come and girlfriends go.
Don’t let them pay for cable though!
When they get mad, you won’t suspect it,
Your cable they will disconnect it.

One minute your computer will work just fine.
The next minute you are off line.
Then you lose your television, too
And you have to just sit there with nothing to view.

You didn’t buy that new antenna kit
Because with cable you didn’t need it.
And the cable company thinks its funny
Because they get to make more money.

But you are running low and you can’t pay,
So you have to wait until payday.
Then when you take them what they say you owe,
They find out about that unpaid bill from two years ago.

Now unless you want to wait another week,
You go to your boss and speak
To him about getting an advance on your check.
At first he says “No,” then he says what the heck.

So cable television you now can get.
Your computer is back on the internet
And the lesson for all poetry writing men
Is don’t put cable in the name of your girlfriend.

Even Poets have to put up with “Real Life” sometimes.  This is what happened to me.  When my girlfriend first moved in she was very excited about being with a Poet.  She said it was mysterious. Then she started not liking my poetry or the time I was spending writing it. So I threw it all away to make her happy. Then, when I started writing again she got mad and left.   She had the cable turned off and didn’t tell me. So, if you are a Poet and use the internet keep the cable in your own name even if you have to use your income tax refund.

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The Radio and Other Nuisances

March 17, 2010 1 comment

The Radio and Other Nuisances

Listening to songs on the radio
Can be fun, but sometimes, you know
I wish the guys on the commercials would just shut up.
They get on my nerves when they interrupt.

There you are listening to “Lightning Bar”
And some person ruins the mood trying to sell a used Car.
When you are still feeling  “I just want to drink my Ripple Wine”
Here they come with an ‘86 Cavalier for nine-ninety nine.

And for some reason they always have to yell
Like for some reason they couldn’t just tell
You in a way that doesn’t cause you stress.
But I guess they would make a few dollars less.

So here they come screaming
While you lay there dreaming.
So you turn back down what they amplify,
And go back to sleep, or at least you try.

And then about the time you finally start to doze,
Somebody honks a horn, Goodness Knows!
This is starting to get irritating, so. . .
You turn  back up the Radio. . .

And this time Bob Dylan is singing “Tambourine Man.”
So off you head to Sleepy-bye Land.
When as sure as a wino will head for the Booze
Somebody starts yelling to sell you some Shoes.

So you grab the pillow and put it over your Head.
And try to snuggle down deep in your Bed.
And just when you think you have some Serenity.
A Mexican telemarketer calls to sell you a Car Repair Warranty.

When you work the night shift, you have extra problems most people don’t have. You have to sleep during part of the day and the hustle and bustle outside can get loud sometimes. So, if your CD player doesn’t work, and your spray can of air is out, you turn on the Radio to cover up all the outside noise. If can be frustrating sometimes, but if you are a Poet, you learn that this isn’t “lemons.”  It just another opportunity to make “lemonade.”